If you read my blog at all or follow me on twitter, you probably know that I am sort of obsessed with television. I’m not necessarily proud of this, but it is what it is. I’m 35 – my club days are over lol. In any event, I am also a bit of an awards-show-ho, so Emmy Award time here in the states is pretty much like heaven for me. There are quite a few of you out there who I know are also TV junkies, so my Emmy preview and picks are ‘specially for you!

Now keep in mind, these are MY favorites, not who I necessarily think will win lol, so don’t come back to me on Monday morning saying nyah nyah nyah

OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW COMPETITION

DWTS and AI suck balls in the worst kind of way, but I love all three of these other shows. The Amazing Race wins pretty much every year, but I would love to see Project Runway or Top Chef take it this year just to change things up a bit and spread the love around!

REALITY - OUTSTANDING REALITY SHOW HOST

Heidi Klum is amazing. Anybody who comes up with such memorable lines as, “It looks like she’s pooping fabric,” (in a German accent, no less), gets my vote.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

Jane Lynch will deservedly win this one. A lot of great actresses here, but Jane Lynch is finally getting the recognition she deserves.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Ty Burrell is Modern Family. He’s easily the funniest part of a really good ensemble cast, which is saying something.

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A COMEDY

Tony Shalhoub shouldn’t even be on this list this year. Monk hasn’t been good in years and he’s already been rewarded for playing the same character the same way over and over each week. Instead, I gotta go with Alec Baldwin again even though 30 Rock was uneven at best this year – he is always on point and always hilarious, though.

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY

As much as I love Tina Fey (and I *really* love Tina Fey), Toni Collette is beyond amazing and Amy Poehler is vastly underrated, so I would be happy to see either of them win this time around.

OUTSTANDING COMEDY

30 Rock wasn’t great this year, and The Office is always good but never stellar. Glee, which isn’t really a true comedy in my opinion, should have been scrapped in favor of Parks and Recreation. I think Modern Family will win, but Curb and Nurse Jackie are also well deserving of the top prize.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

Everybody says it will be Hendricks and I love me some curvy Joan Holloway action, but Elisabeth Moss is so much better in Mad Men, mainly by virtue of the complexity of her character.

OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA

I’ll be so mad if this doesn’t go to Aaron Paul this year. He is too often overlooked and his performance is sublime, as is the entire show.

OUTSTANDING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA

I don’t watch FNL or TGW or the Closer so this is a toughie for me, but of the three shows I do watch, I would give it to January Jones because she is so good at playing a character who is so deeply flawed.

OUTSTANDING ACTOR IN A DRAMA

Oooohhhh another nail biter! Should go to Michael C. Hall or Bryan Cranston, in my not-so-humble opinion. Lots of good options here for Emmy voters, though.

OUTSTANDING DRAMA

As much as I love watching True Blood for its pure shock and entertainment value, I don’t think it belongs in the same category as the rest of these shows. I was also one of the few people who didn’t like the final season of Lost, so that doesn’t get my nod either. For me, it’s almost a tie between Mad Men and Breaking Bad, but MM is pretty much my all-time favorite show on tv – EVER – so Mad Men FTW!

Yeah, sorry about that! When my cameraman/hubby was out of town for a week, I took the opportunity to use my extra free time to go back in time and film a few videos old-style: tripod, no zooming, no angles, etc. They aren’t as good as normal ones when somebody else is behind the camera, but I hope you’ll enjoy them at least a little bit! hehehe

Til the Mad Men Season 4 premiere!!! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. It’s my favorite show ever and I can’t wait. In celebration, I have “Mad Menned Myself” (they even have a fat girl body type to work with!). Think this would cause a stir over at Sterling Cooper?

I love dirty talk, but I do find that I am fairly sensitive to what words I like and what words I hate (I’m getting so picky as I get older! lol). For example, I love cock but think dick sounds immature. I love pussy and even cunt on occasion, but twat/gash/slit/vagina all sort of gross me out. There aren’t many good words for asshole except asshole, but I think I’ve already been clear about my feelings on that one in a previous post. If I hear somebody say something like hershey highway, I am going to automatically assume they are a teenager, and something like love knot just sounds weird when you are getting down and dirty, ya know? I like fucking, screwing, riding the cock, but hate banging, humping or, god forbid, making love. I never masturbate, but I may get myself off from time to time or fuck myself silly. 

I know, I know… serious lack of photo updates the last few weeks! My apologies everybody! Our house and studio has been under some serious remodeling/reorganization in anticipation of selling our place, so we haven’t been able to shoot, but I hope you have at least enjoyed the videos I’ve been posting each week instead New photoset coming next week! *MWAH*

**Edit 05/01/10: Wow… just saw the recent comments from several people in the photo gallery about the fact that there hadn’t been a photo update in three weeks. Maybe I’m just sensitive tonight, but it’s sort of disappointing to see such negativity when I update my site so religiously - so much more than like 75% of the solo BBW sites I see out there… Even when I haven’t had a photo update to post, I made sure to give you guys a video each week so that you would have new content. I take this stuff to heart and I take my business very seriously, but sometimes life conspires against us to make things more difficult.

Happy Tax Day! OK, there’s nothing happy about it really, but for the first time in like 7 years I’m getting a refund instead of having to write a check, so that’s sort of exciting! Of course, it’s mainly because we anticipated making more money than we did this past year, which isn’t so good, but it’s still a nice feeling to get something back! I remember, back in the day, when I had one little low-paying job and got a tidy sum back EVERY year. Then I became a full-fledged adult and lost that luxury - along with spring break in Cancun and summer vacations Anyhoo, I hope this tax day went well (as well as taxes can go) and that you are getting some relief in the form of a hand-to-cock approach. Look for next week’s video in the same hot pink lycra leggings that you see in my sexy photo update this week!

I suspect that a lot of people think I spend my days lounging naked, masturbating relentlessly, eating bon-bons, and being waited on hand-and-foot. While that all sounds great, real life is something a little less glamorous, so I thought I would document a typical 24 hours and since I spend most of my day in front of a PC or laptop screen, it was easy to give you all the hideously boring details Enjoy!

2:15 AM – Sexy time. No, you cannot have details. Suffice it to say, I am more than satisfied.

4:00 AM – Turn the page down in the book I’m reading and turn off the light to get some rest before I have to wake up again at 7:30 AM. I sleep in fits and starts – three hours here, another two and a half hours there…

4:59 AM – Look at the clock thinking fuck… why am I still awake? I have to be up in two and a half hours. I really should have taken my valerian root.

5:35 AM – Give up on sleep. Throat hurts for some reason, so I toddle down to my office to make some tea and get an early jump on the day. Will sleep later. Start this blog entry.

6:02 AM – Check in with my “real job” office, which is on the East Coast, so it’s not an ungodly hour for them as it is for me. Send random email to bosses about something unimportant just so that they know I’m working early today. Hopefully somebody will take pity on me and let me “leave” early too.

6:35 AM – Finish harvesting my Farmville crops on facebook. Yeah, I know, I am a giant dork, but now that I am 35 I can live with my dorkiness without feeling too embarrassed.

6:40 AM – Discover excellent plus-size fashion website, but get sad when I realize they are based in the UK and the exchange rate plus shipping makes it an unfeasible place to shop. Woe is me. I should be happy, though… I just gave away 14 bags of clothing to charity in order to make my closet look less cramped for when we put our house on the market. Must curb urge to splurge…

6:46 AM – Why is throat hurting so bad??? I just got over a three-week bout of bronchitis. Cannot get sick again. Will kill somebody. Can’t stop thinking about breakfast, but it’s really too early to eat.

6:57 AM – First Firefox crash of the day. Suck it, Mozilla Monkeys!!!

7:24 AM – Scan my twitter news feeds.

7:31 AM – Firefox crash #2.

7:42 AM – Post a few books on PaperbackSwap.com

7:56 AM – Feed the dogs and let them out before making whole wheat French toast with egg whites and nonfat soy milk. Totally yummy. And a Diet Sunkist – a girl’s gotta have some chemicals in her life!

8:00 AM – Begin watching Tivo-ed Fringe from last week. My job rocks.

8:12 AM – Thinks it’s shameful that Volkswagen is trying to convert “Punch Buggy” tradition into “Punch on all VWs” ad campaign. My Beetle is displeased.

8:15 AM – Firefox crash #3.

9:47 AM – Downloading my girls’ updates from the server. Hmmm… only two people out of ten updating tonight? Not a happy Monday for porn surfers 

9:55 AM – Added new photoset to my members’ area. Sexy strip poker game!

10:08 AM – Watching American Pickers and editing marketing docs for reg. job.

11:15 AM – Daily call from my mom. 40 minutes. We talk more now than we did when I lived 20 minutes away from her.

12:00 PM – Wake up my hubby. At least SOMEbody in this house is getting some sleep!

12:15 PM – Lunch – leftover multigrain pasta with sautéed tomatoes and onions. People’s Court.

12:47 PM - Shower - mmmmm sudsy

1:18 PM – Ridiculously long discussion about what faucets and drains to order for our master bathroom remodel. Decide to scrap original plan completely – more construction to look forward to.

1:27 PM – Look at clock. Two more hours before I can go back to sleep. Counting the minutes. Back to photoediting.

1:32 PM – Tweeting: http://foodporndaily.com

1:41 PM – Still looking at food porn.

1:48 PM - http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/03/29/the-walking-dead-rises-on-amc/ It’s about time a good cable network did a zombie show.

1:49 PM – Back to food porn. I’m like a magpie – something shiny catches my attention and I’m totally sidetracked, but food porn is holding my attention longer than other things.

2:01 PM – Receive call from my hairdresser – she wants to use me as a model for a new Brazilian anti-frizz treatment. So excited! I love getting hair treatments for freeeeeee 

2:15 PM – Firefox crash #4.

3:00 PM – Take dogs out. Come back in and prepare some macerated fresh strawberries with balsamic vinegar for later.

3:30 PM – Head back up to bed for naptime. Read four pages of my book before nodding off to la-la land for four and a half hours.

8:12 PM – Check facebook, harvest some more crops, plant some stuff.

8:25 PM – Begin preparing bison meat taco salads for dinner, make fresh guacamole, etc.

8:45 PM – Sit down to eat with hubby and watch our Monday night shows: Nurse Jackie, US of Tara, Damages, House… Yeah, I know, I watch a lot of TV. That’s what happens when you get old!!!

11:58 PM – Complete the rest of the updates that were sent to the server later today. Scan twitter.

1:33 PM – Talk to M.I.L. on instant messenger – I actually love my MIL!

1:54 PM – Make last post here. Rinse, Repeat.

I’m a rabid Scrabble player on Facebook, but I also love to play “Words with Friends” - a Scrabble-like free app for the iPhone. If anybody else plays, feel free to start a game with me there - my username is “Carrieglitter”!

So, when I get a cold, I don’t just get a cold. I get bronchitis or strep throat or some other equally annoying and stubborn malady. This past weekend, the minute I felt that familiar tickle in my throat (no, not that one you pervs!) I knew I was in for a crappy week. By Sunday, I was in full-blown bronchitis mode and by now (Thursday) I am workin on an average of about 4 hours of sleep a day, which is kicking my ass, I tell ya! I feel like Monica in that episode of Friends where she is walking around trying to be all sexy with a chest slathered in VapoRub and stuffed up nose! I’m hoping by the weekend, I’ll be back to some semblance of normality because if I don’t start getting better, somebody’s gonna pay *shakes fist in the air*!!!

For those who haven’t heard, filmmaker (and sometimes actor) Kevin Smith was recently kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight as part of their “too fat to fly” policy. Although he was already seated with the armrests down, the captain of the flight publicly humiliated Smith by having flight attendants escort him off the seated flight because he was a “safety risk.” To read the full story: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100215/ap_on_en_mo/us_people_kevin_smith or listen to Smith’s podcast: http://smodcast.com

I bring up this event because it sheds public light on a very troubling matter for all of us fatties out there in travel land. How can we balance the physical and emotional needs of passengers with our demand for low-priced fares? Unlike many overweight people, I don’t resent the fact that most passengers (FA’s notwithstanding) don’t want to be encroached on by extra large people in the seats next to them. Frankly, I don’t like touching strangers and some people – fat and thin alike – can’t be trusted with personal hygiene tasks. When my husband and I travel, we either sit next to each other (he’s slim and likes it when I encroach on him) or, for longer flights, purchase three seats for the two of us.

If I were flying alone, however, I would be resentful of having to purchase two seats when I take up approximately one and a quarter seats. Similarly, I would resent paying up to eight times as much for a larger seat in business class than what I would pay in coach. Business class doesn’t afford me eight times as much comfort, eight times as much space, eight times as much liquor, or eight times as much convenience. I would be happy, though, to pay one and a half times the price for a seat that was one and a half times wider.

Why not get rid of “first class” seating and create a section on every plane where people can pay a reasonable amount more for larger seating? Two more expensive seats in a row instead of three miniscule ones. I bet there are many people, fat and thin, who would be willing to pay more, if the price wasn’t disproportionately exorbitant. Apart from the initial refitting costs, it would decrease gas costs for the airline since two people usually weigh less than three and carry luggage for two people rather than three. If regular three tickets cost $100 apiece and two large tickets cost $150 apiece, where is the problem? The airlines still make virtually the same amount of money and passengers actually have *gasp* options!